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Sex
It’s loads of fun to get laid,
Even better than getting paid.
Some people like to check out a nice arse,
While others like making love out on the grass.
Most guys like to play with boobs,
While some women get babies from test tubes.
The back seat of a car, for sex, is used,
Sometimes people get sexually abused.
There are many ways to christen your crown,
Like front, or back, or even upside down.
More guys then chicks buy sex from a whore,
And everyone else can’t help but to score.
To not get pregnant, a condom is a must,
Otherwise expand will your bust.
Something most guys like is head,
But not as good as sex in a bed.
Most guys would like to try a ménage at trois,
Preferably not in the backseat of a car.
Most guys like to watch chicks strip,
But they hate it when chicks start to drip.
Chicks hate it when guys cum too soon,
Also when they blow up a condom like a balloon.
Some people say fingers are for picking your nose,
But then again they are safer than using your hose.
Drugs
This mad guy people call the pope
Just sold me some A-grade dope.
I packed it tight into a bong,
Then I started walking along.
Being as high as a kite is a feeling I miss,
Even better than a night on the piss.
I flogged all my stuff for some real quick cash
So I could bake me some cookies containing hash.
The first shots are a laugh with rum,
Until you fall down and land on your bum.
It’s fun drinking a Bacardi breezer,
As long as you don’t wake up in the freezer.
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