Froggy Frog Frog McFrog

Episode 1:

        There once was a frog called Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. On the third Saturday of May Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was going for a quiet hop-a-long through the local river bed, when all of a sudden out of the bushes jumped a kung fu master monkey. This monkeys name happened to be Furry Man The Chimp. Furry Man The Chimp challenged Froggy Frog Frog McFrog to a duel. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog didn't know what to say, so he said the first thing that came into his head. "Of course, why wouldn't I want fries with that?". Furry Man The Chimp shocked by Froggy Frog Frog McFrogs answer stumbled backwards into a log and fell flat on his bottom. And that concludes the adventures of Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Come back later and there may be another instalment for you to read and enjoy.

Episode 2:

        Well now that you are acquainted with the main character. By that I mean Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Well this story takes place before he met up with Furry Man The Chimp. In this story Froggy Frog Frog McFrog meets up with the evil mastermind Monsieur Mushy Mushy. It happens that Monsieur Mushy Mushy is a llama. I know that most evil masterminds aren’t llamas, but this time he is. Get used to it already. Well Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was getting ready for his quiet hop-a-long through the local river bed when all of a sudden the roof of his house just magically disappeared. Out of nowhere came Monsieur Mushy Mushy and his evil ray of badness. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog dived down behind the lounge just in time to avoid being hit by the evil ray of badness. After a few seconds of dodging the evil ray of badness Froggy Frog Frog McFrog got the shits and decided to fight back. All Froggy Frog Frog McFrog could do was go to the kitchen and grab a fork to defend himself with. Luckily for him Monsieur Mushy Mushys only weakness was forks. And that concludes another adventure of Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Hope you enjoyed it.

Episode 3:

        Now back to the adventures of Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. This episode takes place after the incident with Furry Man The Chimp. After departing from Furry Man The Chimp, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog continued down the local river bed until he came across a ladder leaning on a tree. Being the inquisitive frog that he is, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog decided to climb the ladder without thinking about the consequences. As soon as he reached the top of the ladder he was surprised by the war cry of Ariba Maxi-Neba The Mexican Flying Squirrel. Luckily Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had read an encyclopaedia earlier that day and learnt about Mexican flying squirrels only weakness. This happened to be red food colouring. Unfortunately Froggy Frog Frog McFrog forgot to put some red food colouring in his pocket that morning. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog quickly looked around for some red food colouring. Luckily for him there happened to be a large bottle of red food colouring right next to him. He speedily grabbed it and loaded it into his water pistol. Well the rest of that story speaks for itself. If you can’t figure out what happens then you don’t deserve to know.

Episode 4:

        I’m guessing that all you loyal readers are all on the edge of your seats waiting for the next instalment of Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. This story occurs after the incident up in the tree tops with Ariba Maxi-Neba the Mexican flying squirrel. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog continues on his hop-a-long down the local river bed when he comes across an aquarium in the middle of the river bed. To his surprise there was a fish inside the aquarium. It was the rare and endangered large breasted inside-out fish. On a table next to the aquarium was sitting a floral checkered purple cannoli. For those uneducated people out there that is a kind of Italian dessert. For some really strange reason Froggy Frog Frog McFrog decided to see what would happen if he fed the floral checkered purple cannoli to the large breasted inside-out fish. And that concludes that chapter of Froggy Frog Frog McFrog adventure on the third Saturday of May.

Episode 5:

        Oh no disaster struck. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was bombarded by a basket full of dirty socks. Just so you all know this story takes place three days after Froggy Frog Frog McFrog fed the floral checkered cannoli to the large breasted inside-out fish. Thinking quick Froggy Frog Frog McFrog dived to his right. Unfortunately that turned out to be a mistake. If only he had jumped to his left Froggy Frog Frog McFrog would not be in his current predicament. I wish I could tell you about his predicament but there just aren’t any words to explain it. Well this episode seems to have stopped so I think this might be the end of it. Stay tuned for his next exciting adventure which may or may not contain a purple and orange sheep that is high on life.

Episode 6:

        Girdleblue the Lonely Brussel Sprout was just sitting there hanging with his imaginary friend Phillipa, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, jumped Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Girdleblue the Lonely Brussel Sprout was so scared that he completely forgot about his friend Phillipa. That really has nothing to do with the story but I just wanted to make you feel sorry for Girdleblue the Lonely Brussel Sprout. All you devoted readers probably think I’m just gonna stop the story to try and keep you in suspense. Well, you’re all wrong. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog, while jumping out of nowhere, smashed head first into a tree. Quickly, Girdleblue the Lonely Brussel Sprout got up to see if Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was alright. Tune in next time to find out what happens to Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Will he be alright? Will he wake up in hospital? Will he end up eating a turkey? All will be revealed.

Episode 7:

        This instalment will only make sense if you tuned in last time, otherwise you will have no idea what is going on and be confused for the rest of your life. Nah, just kidding. I don’t know what this instalment will have to do with the last one. I just thought I’d freak you all out a little. Everything was black. Then out of nowhere everything appeared, all because Froggy Frog Frog McFrog opened his eyes. I’m sorry to inform all you devoted fans, he woke up in hospital. It’s not as bad as you might think though. He looked over to his left and saw the strangest site you could ever imagine. I’m not going to tell you what it is. You have to imagine it.

Episode 8:

        Alright enough of that keeping you in suspense crap. No need to keep imagining what it was. It turned out it was Kung Fu Jeffrey the Fluro Turtle. Although Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was still lying in his hospital bed all crippled and nearly dead, he jumped up and dived out the window sideways. That is because Kung Fu Jeffrey the Fluro Turtle was Froggy Frog Frog McFrog’s long lost cousin twice removed which for some strange reason had always tried to kill Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Luckily for all you loving fans Froggy Frog Frog McFrog landed on a mattress which was placed there earlier for such an emergency. Kung Fu Jeffrey seeing this, and being in the mood for killing, thought it would be a great idea to jump out after Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. But seeing as Froggy Frog Frog McFrog is the hero of the story and kinda smart he moved the mattress just a little bit. Poor Kung Fu Jeffrey smacked into the ground at a huge speed. I’m sure you can imagine what would happen if something like that happened to a Fluro Turtle so I don’t need to explain it in immense detail.

Episode 9:

        I’m sure most of you devoted fans saw this one coming. In this instalment Froggy Frog Frog McFrog’s arch nemesis and all around just not nice guy is introduced to the series. That arch nemesis would be Toady Toad Toad McToad. Toady Toad Toad McToad came about at roughly the same time as Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. It was a freak accidental cloning accident which resulted in Toady Toad Toad McToad being created and coming into existence. You’ve seen enough movies with those kinds of accidents and stuff so I won’t explain it too much. Just use your imagination. That’s right. I think you have an imagination. Don’t go and prove me wrong. If you do I’ll come and kick your arse. Oh, sorry about that. I got a little carried away there. Well one day when Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was sitting down having lunch at the local park Toady Toad Toad McToad wandered past. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog being such a smartarse stuck his leg out and tripped Toady Toad Toad McToad over. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had a good laugh about it. And that is why Toady Toad Toad McToad hates Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Most of you might not think it’s a very good reason but Toady Toad Toad McToad did. And isn’t that all that really matters.

Episode 10:

        Welcome back all you people who actually read this. I shall warn you all now that this instalment is going to blow your mind with the amount of action I’m gonna cram into it. Well, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was frolicking through the woods one day. When out of nowhere he noticed a not so well hidden tree stump. This tree stump wasn’t any ordinary tree stump. It had a magical time travel portal thingy in it. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog being the smart Frog he is thought about diving head first through the portal but changed his mind as he thought it would be a bad idea. He went through feet first instead. For some reason that way is safer, but less fun. It was crazy. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog came flying out of another portal in the middle of the ladies toilets at your local shopping complex. Nah, just kidding. He actually came out in the laboratory of Evil Professor Lipenstocking. This is the lab where Toady Toad Toad McToad was created. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog started having some crazy flashbacks of all those weird things that Evil Professor Lipenstocking. He just broke down and had a serious seizure. Quickly before anyone noticed he pulled himself together and jumped back through the portal. You cannot tell anyone this story as Evil Professor Lipenstocking is never to know what happened.

Episode 11:

        One day while Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was sitting down to a nice bag of cookies, out of nowhere jumped, a giant peanut butter and gumballs cookie. It turns out this was the dreaded Mungo-Mud. Mungo-Mud would go around waiting for people to start eating cookies and then jump out and scare them. This was just because he always had a serious craving for cookies. Nothing like he’s avenging his fellow cookie kind or anything. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was scared really bad when Mungo-Mud jumped out, but not scared enough to leave his cookies. Mungo-Mud didn’t know what to do. So he tried to look all big and scary. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog being the nice guy he is just offered a cookie to Mungo-Mud. Mungo-Mud, not one to refuse a free cookie, graciously accepted and sat down with Froggy Frog Frog McFrog to finish off the cookies. Mungo-Mud now has a completely different look on life. He’s learnt that it’s better to be kind, then to scare people. This way you get the good cookies instead of the crumbled ones.

Episode 12:

        You’ll never believe what Froggy Frog Frog McFrog found on his way to the fishbowl museum. That’s right, a pez dispenser. Not any ordinary one though, this one was magical and mystical. It was a never ending pez dispenser. Pez just magically kept filling it so you never ran out of pez. No matter how much pez Froggy Frog Frog McFrog ate, it just wouldn’t end. Word soon spread about the never ending pez dispenser. Soon word had spread all the way to Rodelodelee The Yodeling Mountain Goat. Rodelodelee The Yodeling Mountain Goat was the toughest pez dispenser collector the entire universe had ever seen. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was just chillin’ at the local park with his never ending pez dispenser when Rodelodelee The Yodeling Mountain Goat came barrelling down the mountain, which was conveniently right next to the local park. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog wasn’t quite sure what to expect. So he grabbed his dispenser and started hopping away. Unfortunately Rodelodelee The Yodeling Mountain Goat was too quick and caught up with Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Rodelodelee The Yodeling Mountain Goat demanded Froggy Frog Frog McFrog hand over his unique pez dispenser. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog handed it over without even thinking. Well he was pretty sick of pez because that’s all he’d eaten for the last week. Rodelodelee The Yodeling Mountain Goat gladly took the pez dispenser and left. If you can find the moral of this story please inform me so I can write it because I sure as hell can’t find a moral.

Episode 13:

        Giddee Yup The Small Horse (who’s not to be confused with a pony) was going for a morning stroll when he came across Froggy Frog Frog McFrog passed out in the gutter. Thinking something might be wrong Giddee Yup The Small Horse dragged Froggy Frog Frog McFrog onto his back and carried him all the way back to his house. Smelling Froggy Frog Frog McFrogs breath Giddee Yup The Small Horse knew that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had been out drinking last night. Knowing Froggy Frog Frog McFrog for many years now, Giddee Yup The Small Horse found this very not like Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Never seeing Froggy Frog Frog McFrog like this before, Giddee Yup The Small Horse wasn’t sure what to do. So he just threw Froggy Frog Frog McFrog out the window and into the back garden to let him sleep it off and not disturb Giddee Yup The Small Horse. And the moral of this story is don’t pass out in gutters. You can drink all you want and pass out, just try not to pass out in gutters.

Episode 14:

        As you all probably know by now, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog likes going for little hop alongs. But this particular hop along was different from all the others. On this hop along he stumbled across a scungy looking lamp. Seeing enough movies Froggy Frog Frog McFrog thought there might be a genie in this lamp, so he rubbed it as hard and as fast as he could. To his unluckiness it wasn’t a genie that was trapped inside this lamp. Instead, out popped a Fairy Frog Mother. His Fair Frog Mother spoke, “Good on ya mate for freeing me from the lamp. I’ll grant you one wish for that buddy.” Seeing as Froggy Frog Frog McFrog ain’t quite the smartest frog out there, he said exactly what he was thinking, “I wish I could think of a kewl wish.” The Fairy Frog Mother waved her little wand and his wish was granted. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog instantly thought of a kewl wish, unfortunately he’d just wasted his wish to get that one. Don’t feel sorry for him, it was his own fault for thinking out loud.

Episode 15:

        This story takes place the night before Giddee Yup The Small Horse found Froggy Frog Frog McFrog back in episode 13. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was kinda bored so he figured he'd go out and get drunk. Unfortunately for him his mates who he went out drinking with decided to take a video camera. After a couple of drinks they started to make the most of the pain numbing alcohol. Nobody actually remembers why but they all thought it would be a good idea to set their chests on fire in the shape of different letters. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog got stuck with R. Not actually thinking, he sprayed R onto his chest with deodorant and then just lit it. It went off like fish heads in summer. The only problem was his mate forgot to turn the video camera on. So, of course, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog just did it again. That’s all that can be remembered from that night and that was just using the help of the video camera. This story is for Craig as it was his comment that inspired me to write this one. Oh yeah and if it seems really weird to you then you should check out S’dR.

Episode 16:

        You’ll never believe what happened to Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. I could barely believe it. I’m struggling to find the appropriate words to describe this phenomenon. Yeah, that’s right. You heard me, it’s a phenomenon. I’m sure there are some people out there that don’t believe me, but you will by the end of this episode. Well I think I should quit my talking and get on with the story. So here goes nothing. Well like I said this was a phenomenon that struck Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Alright maybe I lied. It was just a recipe book that his mum threw at him. But I thought it was a phenomenon. Maybe because you finally learn that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog has a mum and doesn’t have two dads. See, I’m not afraid to tackle modern day issues. Well actually I am because then people might think there’s a point to these stories, which there isn’t. Well I believe this story has gone on long enough and not actually gone anywhere.

Episode 17:

        In this episode you will become acquainted with one of Froggy Frog Frog McFrog’s best ever friends. This friend would be Jodie The One-Eyed Chipmunk. The story behind why Jodie only has one eye is an interesting one. Jodie The Two-Eyed Chipmunk was going for a stroll through the forest when an acorn fell from above. At this time Jodie didn’t know that investigating this acorn would change her life forever. This acorn, as you have probably already guessed, was not a normal acorn. It was a very rare and dangerous exploding acorn. Jodie The Two-Eyed Chipmunk decided to go and investigate this acorn. Next thing she knew she was waking up in hospital and would from then on be known as Jodie The One-Eyed Chipmunk. It was in this hospital where she met Froggy Frog Frog McFrog.

Episode 18:

        It’s a bird, it’s a plane. No wait, it’s Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Bet you didn’t see that one coming. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog can fly now. He was zooming through the sky. He was going for the windswept look with his hair. Nobody could believe what they were seeing. It’s just not right for a frog to be able to fly. Even I’m struggling to believe this is really happening. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog flew right over and took rest on top of a humungously, huge pile of cheese. Not knowing what to do while resting on a humungously, huge pile of cheese, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog magically wished for a bottle of bacon syrup. Out of nowhere appeared a bottle of bacon syrup. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog drank half of the bottle of bacon syrup and poured the other half over the humungously huge pile of cheese. The cheese instantly melted away to reveal the meaning of life. Stay tuned to later episodes and you may discover what the meaning of life is, or how one plus one can equal a window. Both questions have plagued mankind for an eternity.

Episode 19:

        Nevins The Narcoleptic Camel was a very rare breed of camel. This very rare breed of camel was the only known species of camel to have uncontrollable bowels. Yeah that’s right, he craps himself all the time. Don’t laugh, it’s a serious condition with no known medical cure. Oh and for those insignificant mortals who don’t know the meaning of the word narcoleptic. Well stiff shit. Nah, I’m just kidding. Ask your parent or guardian for the meaning because I really cannot be bothered explaining it to you insignificant mortals. Now that I’ve cleared that up I can get on with the episode. Nevins The Narcoleptic Camel was going for his morning stroll to pick up some damn hot chilli sauce. That Nevins The Narcoleptic Camel can’t get enough damn hot chilli sauce on his cereal. Which reminds me about Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. The only reason I remembered Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was because he also eats cereal, not with damn hot chilli sauce though. Only Nevins The Narcoleptic Camel eats cereal with damn hot chilli sauce.

Episode 20:

        Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was just going for his morning hop along when out of nowhere he realised he was hopping on the road. He quickly hopped off the road and continued his morning hop along on the footpath. This came as a huge shock to Froggy Frog Frog McFrog because he could’ve sworn he was paying enough attention to know where he was hopping. Well Froggy Frog Frog McFrog quickly got back to focusing on where he was hopping and had completely forgotten about his road hopping on incident. All was going well until a car went driving past and just started shooting out of the window. Yes, that’s right, a drive by shooting. I’m sure you never would’ve expected this to happen to poor little innocent Froggy Frog Frog McFrog, but it did. Luckily Froggy Frog Frog McFrog hopped behind a telegraph pole and just thought thin. Many bullets bounced off of the telegraph pole. This was a very lucky day for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Imagine what would’ve happened if he was still hopping on the road, what could’ve happened then. He might not have been able to hide behind the telegraph pole and could be dead right now. But he isn’t, and that should be all that matters.

Episode 21:

        This episode will change your entire perspective on Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Even after reading this episode you’ll still struggle to comprehend the magnitude of which this episode changes the way you think about Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. At the moment you may think of him as just a normal frog having a run of bad luck. I’m sorry if that’s how you viewed Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. I truly am sorry, but this episode had to be written and the truth had to be told. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog isn’t just the normal frog you think he is. Although he may seem that way, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog really is a sex crazed, drug dependent party animal. Every Saturday night he’d be out partying it up, doing drugs and getting laid, all within the span of one night. I know that this may seem shocking to some people, but I thought the truth had to be told. Nah, I’m just messing with ya. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog really is just a normal frog. None of this sex crazed, drug dependent party animal crap. I so had you convinced. I feel sorry for you now. You’ll believe anything that is written. Had ya going there too didn’t I? Froggy Frog Frog McFrog truly is a sex crazed, drug dependent party animal. Or atleast half of him is. That’s right, he has two personalities. A nice, normal personality so he can blend in with every other frog out there and one which he only uses on Saturday nights to get laid and party hard.

Episode 22:

        Fillipe The Drag Racing Salamander was just sitting in the gutter when all of a sudden Froggy Frog Frog McFrog landed on top of him. It turns out that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had been thrown out of the fishbowl museum because they’d suspected him of leaving fingerprints on the fishbowls. Of course, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog would never have done such a thing. Fillipe The Drag Racing Salamander was enraged because he was having a wonderful day dream until it was so rudely interrupted by Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Fillipe The Drag Racing Salamander pulled a glove out of nowhere and slapped Froggy Frog Frog McFrog across the face. After doing this Fillipe The Drag Racing Salamander said, “You have offended my honour, I demand satisfaction. I challenge you to a duel.” Froggy Frog Frog McFrog, not being a coward, accepted the duel. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was now sitting in his car ready to race, next to him was Fillipe The Drag Racing Salamander sitting in his car. Off they went and around the first corner. It was neck and neck for the entire race. Well I spose that’s only possible if salamanders have necks. Well Fillipe The Drag Racing Salamander was a very rare breed of salamander that does have a neck. Well they were coming up to the last corner and Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was only just in the lead. He was going in too fast and wasn’t gonna make it and be able to win the race. He was so scared that he couldn’t control his lower muscles and accidentally crapped himself. By some miracle Froggy Frog Frog McFrog made it round the corner and kept speeding up the final straight. Fillipe The Drag Racing Salamander was surely going to catch up and overtake Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Fortunately for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog when he accidentally crapped himself it had leaked through his car and onto the road at the corner. Fillipe The Drag Racing Salamander skidded out of control on Froggy Frog Frog McFrog’s crap and crashed into the wall. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was crowned champion and awarded the best prize you could imagine.

Episode 23:

        It was late on a Saturday night and Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was out partying hard at his local fishbowl museum. Bet you didn’t think you could party hard at a fishbowl museum. Well obviously you’ve never been to a fishbowl museum late at night. It goes off. Well as I was saying Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was partying hard when he discovered the mud wrestling pit. He couldn’t believe his eyes. There were the two hottest pig chicks he’d ever seen wrestling topless in the mud. Thinking with his lower head Froggy Frog Frog McFrog called over a waitress and ordered non-stop drinks to continue coming. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog just sat there and stared at the pig chicks go from wrestling to soft porn. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog couldn’t believe what was actually happening in front of him. After about twenty minutes of watching, the pig chicks slowly moved from the middle of the pit to the edge where Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was watching from. The two pig chicks grabbed Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and dragged him into the mud wrestling pit. They stripped Froggy Frog Frog McFrog down to his birthday suit and repaid the favour by doing the same to themselves. After a little pretend wrestling, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and the pig chicks gave up on the wrestling and the soft porn and started aiming for the hardcore porn. Every onlooker was starting to get jealous. They all just stripped down to their birthday suits and jumped into the pit. Before anybody knew what was going on, everybody was going at it in the mud wrestling pit. It was a huge drunken orgy. I wish I could be more detailed but I’m not really into graphic details of how animals inter-breed, so I’ll leave it up to your imagination.

Episode 24:

        This episode takes place during that certain night at the fishbowl museum. You know which night I’m talking about, and if not well I ain’t gonna tell you. Kewl McPimp The Hairy Chested Rhino was just chillin’ and watching the topless pig chicks wrestling when he remembered that he was their pimp. As soon as Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was dragged in to the wrestling pit, Kewl McPimp The Hairy Chested Rhino thought this would be a great chance to sell off his pig chicks services and make a little money. He just got up and jumped straight into the pit to collect his money before Froggy Frog Frog McFrog got the service. Unfortunately everyone else thought he was trying to join in and thought they’d give it a go too and dived right in as well. This part of the story is rather sad. Kewl McPimp The Hairy Chested Rhino didn’t actually get his money and he might have been violated many times while trying to collect his money. The next part of this episode will shock and amaze you. You won’t believe what is about to happen. It’s just so unexpected. This should be where I write the massive twist which nobody would see coming, but I don’t think I will. Just use your imagination and think up something which you could never imagine. Disaster struck. After that certain night it turned out that one of the wrestling pig chicks had become pregnant. Who could the father be? A better question could be who is the mother? But that would just be stupid because everybody knows that it should be the pig chick that is going to give birth. Maybe that’s the twist, maybe she isn’t the mother.

Episode 25:

        This episode is going to bring back memories of Froggy Frog Frog McFrog that you’ve probably thought you would’ve forgotten by now. It doesn’t matter how much you think you’ve forgotten it, it will come flooding back into your brain. Here is goes, everyone focus. This episode is taking place during Froggy Frog Frog McFrog quiet hop-a-long through the local river bed. You guessed it. It was on the third Saturday of May. This hop-a-long was just like any normal hop-a-long except for one thing. So Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was hopping along when he went around the corner and there was a bridge. Normally people would go across a bridge, but seeing as Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was hopping along the river bed he thought it’d be just fine to go under the bridge. Little did he know this is where a Crazy Troll With Fluro Pink Hair lives. This certain Crazy Troll With Fluro Pink Hair was just sitting down having a relaxing snooze in his lounge room when Froggy Frog Frog McFrog started hopping through. Think this was rude the Crazy Troll With Fluro Pink Hair through a shoe right at Froggy Frog Frog McFrog’s head. Luckily Froggy Frog Frog McFrog is semi-psychic and knew the shoe was coming. Instead of just ducking like most normal frogs, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog did a fancy back flip type thing and kicked the shoe right back at the Crazy Troll With Fluro Hair. The Crazy Troll With Fluro Pink Hair was so shocked that he sat there with his mouth agape. The shoe went straight in and he choked to death on it. Seeing as Froggy Frog Frog McFrog is a nice frog he held a special memorial service for the Crazy Troll With Fluro Pink Hair. It was a sad night for everyone.

Episode 26:

        Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck and First Mate Dirty Dingus McGee were sitting on the docks munching away on there lunch when Froggy Frog Frog McFrog hopped around the corner. Not thinking much of it they just kept on munching away on their lunch. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog couldn’t believe his eyes. Just so you all know, Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck and First Mate Dirty Dingus McGee were having frog’s legs for lunch. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog wasn’t happy at all. He hopped right up to them and stared at them menacingly. Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck just looked up at Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and asked, “Ahoy there me hearty, what be it ye wantin’?” Froggy Frog Frog McFrog just picked up First Mate Dirty Dingus McGee and threw him straight into the ocean. Little did Froggy Frog Frog McFrog know, First Mate Dirty Dingus McGee couldn’t swim. Seeing as Froggy Frog Frog McFrog is the good guy in this series it just wouldn’t be right for him to let First Mate Dirty Dingus McGee drown. So to make sure he didn’t drown he picked up Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck and gave him the worlds biggest ever death stare.

Episode 27:

        Iggins The Rugged Toucan was sitting outside the fishbowl museum pondering what he should get up to today. He just couldn’t quite decide whether to go for a little fly to relax or to just sit around and do nothing. Seeing as he couldn’t decide he thought he’d just flip a coin to decide. Up went the coin. Heads he went for a fly and tails he didn’t. The worst possible thing happened. The coin went down the drain and was lost forever. Iggins The Rugged Toucan was just about to panic when he came up with the best idea ever. He thought he’d just check his wallet for another coin. Seeing as this was the best idea ever, there was no way that it could fail. Unfortunately for Iggins The Rugged Toucan I lied when I said it was the best idea ever. Iggins The Rugged Toucan didn’t even have a wallet. By now Iggins The Rugged Toucan was starting to panic. The craziest thing is that Iggins The Rugged Toucan had forgotten why he even needed a coin. That didn’t matter now as he had started to panic and once a rugged toucan starts to panic you can’t stop one. Iggins The Rugged Toucan had caught a break. He saw someone approaching and he thought maybe they’d be able to lend him a coin. Thinking he was lucky because it was Froggy Frog Frog McFrog because everyone knows Froggy Frog Frog McFrog is the good guy in this series. Well just so Froggy Frog Frog McFrog can maintain his good guy image I’m going to have to remove the next scene. Scene removed. And off hopped Froggy Frog Frog McFrog to continue on his wacky, zany adventures.

Episode 28:

        Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was going on his way to party it up at the fishbowl museum on that fateful night in episode 23. He was nearly there and his hop-a-long had gone completely uninterrupted until Froggy Frog Frog McFrog saw one of his old friends on the side of the road. It was Kevin The Koala. Little did Froggy Frog Frog McFrog know, but Kevin The Koala was now known as Kevin The Queer Koala because he now batted for the other team. Thinking he was still Kevin The Koala, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog thought he do the polite thing and stop and say hello. So Froggy Frog Frog McFrog stopped and said, “Hello there Kevin The Koala. What you doing just sitting here by yourself?” Kevin had to think about it for a second. Then he replied, “Well, you know.” Froggy Frog Frog McFrog not knowing exactly what he meant decided to have a seat next to him and try and figure out what was so good about sitting there. Before Froggy Frog Frog McFrog knew what was going on Kevin The Queer Koala had one hand around Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and the other one on Froggy Frog Frog McFrog’s knee. Realising what Kevin The Queer Koala was doing, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog thought he’d give it a go and see what happens. This is one of those issues I don’t really want to tackle so it’s up to your imagination how this episode progresses. Will Froggy Frog Frog McFrog go all the way with Kevin The Queer Koala or will he bash the living shit out of him because he doesn’t swing that way. The choice is locked away in your imagination.

Episode 29:

        Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had done it. He had solved the mystery of time travel. All he had to do now was to figure out what he was going to do with it. He could go back in time and see history first hand or he could travel to the future and see what is destined for the future of everyone. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog being the smart frog he is thought he’d put it to good use. He travelled back to that Saturday night at the fishbowl museum so he could find out exactly what he had done and whether he would be a father or not. So off he went, through the back alleys of history itself until he arrived at the fishbowl museum on that interesting night. Once he arrived to had to blend in so his former self wouldn’t recognise him and destroy the entire universe. Although that would be an awesome way to end this episode, I don’t think I will end it that way. Luckily Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had bought a crappy disguise at the local disguise shop. That’s right, he has a local disguise shop. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog’s town has it all. So off Froggy Frog Frog McFrog went to discover the inner workings of a drunken orgy. I really wish I could give you a very detailed outline of what happens in this particular drunken orgy but if I did that half of you might feel so disgusted that you would puke all over your monitor and then you wouldn’t be able to read anymore of Froggy Frog Frog McFrog’s adventures. We wouldn’t want that now, would we? So let’s just say that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog has become a father. What would happen to him? He’d have to get a job to pay child support. Then he’d have to get a second job to be able to afford anything for himself because we all know how greedy pigs are. On the other hand, he might not be a father and it could just be a huge mix-up. That would make it so much easier for everyone. Seeing as everyone has different morals, I’m going to let you decide which way Froggy Frog Frog McFrog goes on in life. As a father or as a free and easy frog still trying to get lucky?

Episode 30:

        If you decided that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog should become a father figure and get two jobs then you have to stop reading now because Froggy Frog Frog McFrog’s crazy adventures have ended for you. If you decided that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog isn’t the father and should still try and get lucky then you may read on for all of eternity or until you get bored and want to go to sleep. Seeing as you want Froggy Frog Frog McFrog to try and get lucky, then lucky he must get. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was starting to run out of ideas on how to get lucky when he came up with the best possible way ever to get lucky. It couldn’t fail. He decided to just wander the streets and try and pick up any hot chick he came across. Lucky enough for him within five minutes he’d come across the local hot chick, Annaleise The Hot Chick. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog thinking that his plan couldn’t fail he just walked straight up to Annaleise The Hot Chick and said, “Hey baby, how you doin’? Want to come back to my place and get busy?” Annaleise The Hot Chick slightly surprised by this question muttered a response “Yeah alright, I’ve got nothing better to do.” So off they went back to Froggy Frog Frog McFrog’s house to get busy. On the way back to Froggy Frog Frog McFrog’s house Annaleise The Hot Chick had recovered from the initial shock and had now realised what was about to happen. She just turned around and slapped Froggy Frog Frog McFrog across the face. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog, very surprised, fell flat on his back. Annaleise The Hot Chick didn’t say anything, just left Froggy Frog Frog McFrog lying there on the ground. Maybe next time Froggy Frog Frog McFrog will learn to pick up chicks closer to his house so they don’t have time to realise what is about to happen. Only then does Froggy Frog Frog McFrog stand a chance of getting lucky.

Episode 31:

        Something unbelievable has just happened in Froggy Frog Frog McFrog’s town. It’s so unbelievable that even if I told you, you still wouldn’t believe me. So now I have the decision of telling you something you won’t believe or just not telling you because either way you won’t believe me. Oh hell with it, I’ll tell you anyway. While Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was going for one of his hop-a-longs he ran into a giant statue which wasn’t meant to be there. This is the bit you aren’t going to believe. It was a statue of a giant shopping trolley. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog looked a little closer and noticed a plaque firmly attached to the front of the statue. It read “This statue is in remembrance for all the shopping trolleys that were lost in the shopping trolley incident of 1983.” Yeah that’s right, it was a big plaque. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was intrigued about this shopping trolley incident of 1983. He decided to investigate it. Not knowing where to go to investigate such an incident he decided to phone a friend. This friend happened to be Barry The Bog Busting Beaver. Lucky for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog, Barry The Bog Busting Beaver was actually the one who caused the shopping trolley incident of 1983. Barry The Bog Busting Beaver was at the local shopping complex and busting to hang a shit. So off he went to the little beaver’s room to relieve himself of this blockage. After emptying his bowels he looked in to see what he had left behind. Being a beaver he saw a log and thought he’d try to eat it. So in he dived to munch on his “log”. This is when the incident occurred. As Barry The Bog Busting Beaver dived into the toilet he accidentally pushed the button with his tail. Seeing as he was in the toilet it started to clog. The pressure built so high that the toilet just exploded. Unfortunately on the other side of the wall was the trolley return. So many innocent shopping trolleys lost their lives on that fateful afternoon and the shopping complex was no more.

Episode 32:

        The time had come. It was the grand final of the avocado eating championship. The two remaining contestants were Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and the reigning champion Argyle The Aardvark. And they were off. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog took an early lead. Soon enough he was three avocados in front. Then out of nowhere Argyle The Aardvark managed to swallow five avocados straight. The winner had been decided. Argyle The Aardvark is just an avocado eating machine. Unfortunately for him Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was a more effective avocado eating machine. Yeah that’s right. A frog beat an aardvark in an avocado eating competition. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog now had to make one of the toughest decisions in his life. Will he take the washer and dryer pack or whatever’s behind the curtain. Which would you choose? Something everyone could use or something completely random. I know which one I’d choose. Mainly because I know what’s behind the curtain. Well Froggy Frog Frog McFrog being the adventurous type decided to go with what was behind the curtain. To his surprise, behind the curtain, was the back of the curtain. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was shocked and surprised. He couldn’t believe how cheap the competition runners were. So instead of just accepting that he’d made the wrong decision, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog pulled out a couple of grenades and blew everyone and everything up. Nah, just kidding. Did you really think Froggy Frog Frog McFrog would do that? The truth about what was behind the curtain was not that it was just the back of the curtain. It was actually a year’s supply of avocados. This was so that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog could train all year for next year’s avocado eating championship.

Episode 33:

        Maurice The Mongoose was cruising around the town on his brand spanking new motorcycle when he saw the best thing ever in the shop window. Yeah that’s right, this town has a shop. This particular shop sells pretty much everything that anyone could ever want, from marijuana to muumuus. Yeah, you can buy a muumuu at this shop. That’s exactly what Maurice The Mongoose did. He bought himself a muumuu. Not because he’s fat or anything, just because there is more freedom in a muumuu then there is in pants. Especially when you don’t wear underwear. Not that I’d know or anything. Maurice The Mongoose now wanted to go and show off his brand spanking new motorcycle and muumuu. Where better to show off something new than the hospital. I know it might seem like a weird place to show off your new muumuu, but seriously, how many of you have ever had a new muumuu to show off? So off Maurice The Mongoose went to the hospital. Not just any part of the hospital. He chose to go to the morgue. Maurice The Mongoose chose this part because he liked words which begin with m. He didn’t know that it was full of dead people. So he made a magnificent entrance into the morgue. He thought that his entrance had been so grand and magnificent that he had killed everyone and somehow managed to get them all to lie in little freezer thingies. You know them things in morgues. I don’t know the technical term so cut me some slack. Maurice The Mongoose just turned and ran back to his brand spanking new motorcycle and rode off into the sunset.

Episode 34:

        As everyone knows, every good town deserves a superhero. Seeing as this is just a small town though, it doesn’t really have the best superhero. The superhero I speak of goes by the name of Useless Bill. He’s so useless that he even has his own theme song, “Useless Bill, Useless Bill, Bill is a pile of useless crap”, that and he can’t even tie his own shoes. Every superhero has an arch-nemesis. Useless Bill’s arch-nemesis happened to be the one and only Useful Bert. Luckily for Useless Bill, he had a sidekick. This sidekick wasn’t one of them gay sidekicks like Robin to Batman. Useless Bill’s sidekick was Semi-Kewl Steve. Useless Bill and Semi-Kewl Steve spent most of their time just kicking back watching television and getting slightly intoxicated. Unfortunately for them, one day while they were just relaxing and kicking back, Useful Bert decided to piss off Useless Bill and Semi-Kewl Steve by going skateboarding in Useless Bill’s satellite dish. This just so happened to completely and utterly screw up Useless Bill’s television reception because he has satellite. It really annoyed Useless Bill as he was watching the adult’s only channel and was starting to get in the “mood” if you know what I’m talking about and if you don’t, then you don’t need to know. Useless Bill put his “wife’s best friend” away so he could go and investigate the situation with his satellite dish. As soon as Useless Bill saw that Useful Bert was skateboarding in his satellite dish he started to throw rocks at Useful Bert. Unfortunately for him he hit his satellite dish more often than he hit Useful Bert and kinda broke his satellite dish a little.

Episode 35:

        I’m sure many of you out there are wondering whatever happened to the other pig chick from episode 23 that didn’t end up pregnant. I’m sorry to inform you but this episode is not going to cease your wondering. Maybe one day you will find out what happened to her, but for now I’m going to tell you the amazing adventure of her cousin. I know this entire series is about Froggy Frog Frog McFrog, but sometimes there are other characters just as important that need entire episodes written about them. This episode is all about Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak, who just happens to be the cousin of a certain mud wrestling pig chick. Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak was unlike many piggie sex freak’s as her goal in life was to one day fornicate without having the smell of burning bacon being created. This was to be harder than anyone could have ever thought as Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak loved to fornicate at extreme speeds. She was quite the fan of a “quickie”. Who better to help Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak than Froggy Frog Frog McFrog? If you’d let your memory roll back to episode 30 you’ll know what I’m talking about. For some strange reason, completely out of my control, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak just happened to bump into each other while they were both looking for a suitable partner to fornicate with. I don’t think I really need to explain the next part of this episode, so I won’t. As Froggy Frog Frog McFrog awoke, he looked over to see Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak. Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak was so happy. As she awoke she couldn’t smell burning bacon. She couldn’t believe it, she had achieved her life long goal. Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak was now wondering why she hadn’t set herself a slightly better goal in life. Oh and by the way for all you people who aren’t as smart or sophisticated as me, fornicate is a classy word for rooting.

Episode 36:

        Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was heading off to his weekly Alcoholics Anonymous meeting when he noticed someone was following him. To his surprise it was Penelope The Penguin. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog thought he’d just keep going to see if this was some kind of weird coincidence or if Penelope The Penguin was actually following him. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was starting to freak out now. Penelope The Penguin was definitely following Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Not thinking, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog panicked and started to run. Surprisingly Penelope The Penguin didn’t start chasing after Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Then it hit him, no not an idea, that truck that was driving past. Luckily for him, the truck was going extremely slow and didn’t hurt him at all. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog remembered what everyone should already know about penguins. Normally I’d tell you, but everyone should already know this certain fact about penguins already. Finally Froggy Frog Frog McFrog arrived at his Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. There was a new member at Alcoholics Anonymous this week. It was Penelope The Penguin. It turns out Penelope The Penguin wasn’t following Froggy Frog Frog McFrog on purpose, it just happened that they were going to the same place. “I’m Penelope The Penguin and I’m an alcoholic,” announced Penelope The Alcoholic Penguin. Then out of nowhere Penelope The Alcoholic Penguin pulled out some kind of fire-arm and held everyone hostage. It turns out that Penelope The Alcoholic Penguin was really Gretchen The Grumpy German Gerbil wearing a penguin suit. After a massive shoot-out Gretchen The Grumpy German Gerbil got away with fifty three million dollars and nobody at the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting was injured, instead they all went out and got intoxicated. Alcoholics Anonymous never had a meeting again.

Episode 37:

        This episode is going to explain one of the weirdest laws ever made in the town of Crooknug. Just so you all know, Crooknug is Froggy Frog Frog McFrog’s town, it finally has a name. Normally I’d just tell you the weirdest law right now but that would spoil the entire episode and I wouldn’t want to do that to my loyal fans. This episode is all about the Miss Crooknug beauty pageant and the horrific thing that happened there. Everything was going just like it had every other year they’d had the Miss Crooknug beauty pageant until the underwear stage came along. All the males in the audience were sitting on the edge of their seats. After all this is the only reason anyone watches beauty pageants. Contestant one was Miss Tertinkles The Cockroach. Everything had been going great for Miss Tertinkles The Cockroach, she was one of the crowd favourites. So out came Miss Tertinkles The Cockroach in some of the hottest looking lingerie you’d ever see a cockroach wear. The crowd cheered and all the judges voted Miss Tertinkles The Cockroach as the winner of the Miss Crooknug beauty pageant. This is when disaster struck. Miss Tertinkles The Cockroach came clean. Miss Tertinkles The Cockroach was really Mister Tinkles The Cross-Dressing Cockroach. None of the judges could believe it, how could they have voted a cross-dressing cockroach as the most beautiful chick in town. It just didn’t make sense. This is why there is now a law in Crooknug that makes it illegal to cross-dress in public. It’s alright if it’s behind closed doors but guys just shouldn’t be wearing dresses out in public. It’s just not right.

Episode 38:

        Eduardo The News Reading Worm was not any old ordinary worm. He longed to be part of a group. Although he was one of the most respected news readers in the world, he still longed to be part of a larger group. Most people would just say pick a sport to play on the weekend, that’ll make you part of a team. I know that a team isn’t a group but it’s close enough. Eduardo The News Reading Worm wasn’t a very sporty worm though. Anyway, who’s ever seen a worm play sport? They have no arms or legs, what use are they really. Eduardo The News Reading Worm wanted to be a member of the very sophisticated and private club, The Blue Lobster. The only problem was that only lobsters could become members of The Blue Lobster and as we all now a worm isn’t a lobster. Luckily for Eduardo The News Reading Worm, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had an ingenious idea about how Eduardo The News Reading Worm could at least look enough like a lobster to become a member of The Blue Lobster. All Eduardo The News Reading Worm had to do was to put on one of those old suits of armour which was conveniently painted red. As soon as Eduardo The News Reading Worm put on his suit of armour he became Eduardo The “Lobster”. So off went Eduardo The “Lobster” to become a member at The Blue Lobster. Eduardo The “Lobster” was surprised at how easy it was to become a member, all he had to do was sign a bit of paper. Now that Eduardo The “Lobster” was a member of The Blue Lobster he was so excited that he decided to dine at The Blue Lobster for dinner. Without thinking Eduardo The “Lobster” ordered himself a seafood salad. The waiter was disgusted at this, after all what kind of self respecting lobster would eat seafood? All of a sudden every lobster in The Blue Lobster pulled out guns and started shooting. It turns out that all the members of The Blue Lobster were mobsters. Yeah that’s right, he was Eduardo The “Lobster” Mobster.

Episode 39:

        If you could go anywhere in time where would you go? Go on, tell me. I dare you. Why would you want to go there when you could go anywhere in time? You just don’t seem to understand the idea of anywhere in time. You could go back in time to that party last weekend and actually see what you did or you could go back in time to before you ate that pizza that made you sick. Well as I’m sure you all remember Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had solved the mystery of time travel. If you didn’t remember that than you had better go back and read episode 29 again and again and again. I’d love to write a story about how Froggy Frog Frog McFrog travelled through time to wherever you wanted to go but that would be nearly impossible if anyone read this besides me. So instead Froggy Frog Frog McFrog will go on a journey through time wherever you want him to go. Not where someone else wants him to go, only where you want him to go. So off Froggy Frog Frog McFrog went to wherever it was you wanted him to go. This is where you have to actually use your imagination a bit. If you’d rather not use your imagination, I could write an episode for you. So off Froggy Frog Frog McFrog went through time. He was planning on going all the way back to the beginning of time but then he realised that he didn’t know what year the beginning of time was so he couldn’t go back. If he went too far who’d know where he’d end up. So he decided to go back twenty minutes in time to when I started to write this episode to stop me writing this episode because it was going nowhere at all.

Episode 40:

        Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was thinking of new ways to get laid. For some strange reason he just can’t get any from the ladies like he used to. Then it hit him, that recipe book that his mum threw at him back in episode 16. He should learn to cook, that always impresses the ladies. Luckily for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog, a new cooking class had just started in town and word on the street was that the teacher was breath takingly stunning. Seeing as he could combine checking out a breath takingly stunning teacher and learn to cook, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog hopped to his new cooking class without thinking twice about it. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was waiting outside his new cooking class when a sexy voice from inside the classroom called him in. To his surprise, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was the only person in the class. He thought this would be the perfect chance to learn how to cook and get to know the teacher a little more personally. Out came the teacher. The rumours were true, she was breath takingly stunning. The teacher introduced herself as Super-Smart Mel The Owl. It turned out the Super-Smart Mel The Owl had enormous hooters. The lesson was going well for about half an hour. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and Super-Smart Mel The Owl were getting along great and Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had learned how to make instant gravy without lumps. He thought for sure he’d be able to get the ladies now with his cooking abilities, so he gave it a go on Super-Smart Mel The Owl. It worked. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and Super-Smart Mel The Owl had started the “hands on” part of the class. Before either of them could think about what they were doing Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had Super-Smart Mel The Owl up on the bench taking advantage of the “hands on” lesson. Unfortunately Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had gone too far when he found out Super-Smart Mel The Owl’s secret. He couldn’t believe what Super-Smart Mel The Owl used to be. It was so disgusting that he ran out of the class room and never looked back. How could someone with such enormous hooters have such a disgusting secret?

Episode 41:

        This is it, the return of Toady Toad Toad McToad. You were all probably thinking that Toady Toad Toad McToad would never return. You were wrong. Froggy Frog Frog McFrogs arch-nemesis has returned. The only difference is this time Toady Toad Toad McToad has a sidekick, Karate Master Koonut The Kookaburra. Alright so maybe Toady Toad Toad McToad hadn’t really returned and it was just his buddy Karate Master Koonut The Kookaburra, but I just thought you all needed to be reminded that Toady Toad Toad McToad existed. Karate Master Koonut The Kookaburra had a foolproof plan to destroy Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and all the Froggy Frog Frog McFrog stood for. Karate Master Koonut The Kookaburra was going to train an army of flies in the ancient art of Fon Qui De. The plan was to get all the flies to sneak up on Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and ambush him from behind. Everything was set, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was sitting on the park bench unaware or any plan from any evil kookaburras. Karate Master Koonut The Kookaburra unleashed his army of flies into the park. Everything was going as planned until Froggy Frog Frog McFrog turned around and saw the swarm of flies approaching. Karate Master Koonut The Kookaburra thought this would be the greatest test of how well he taught his fly army the ancient art of Fon Qui De. All of a sudden Froggy Frog Frog McFrog stuck his tongue out and started eating the flies. Karate Master Koonut The Kookaburra had failed to realise the one major flaw in his plan. Frogs eat flies.

Episode 42:

        Do you hear that? You shouldn’t because this is a story and doesn’t have an audio soundtrack. If it did have a soundtrack though you would be hearing “Useless Bill, Useless Bill, Bill is a pile of useless crap.” Yeah that’s right, Useless Bill is back. After he’d fixed his satellite dish (which he broke in his last episode) he finished off his “wife’s best friend” and got on with his new adventure. This adventure takes Useless Bill and Semi-Kewl Steve on a whirlwind journey through time and space. Alright I lied. They just went down the road to get something for lunch. This was no ordinary journey down the road though, this one involved suspense and intrigue. Everything went well with the whole going down the road and buying something for lunch, but then they got back home and they were shocked by what they had realised. No it’s not what you think. The checkout chick did give them the right change. The problem was that Useless Bill had locked his keys inside his house. Well that’s the suspense out of the way. Now for the intrigue. I really wish I knew what intrigue actually meant. Instead I’m just going to make something exciting up. Most people would just use their spare key that they’ve hidden somewhere around their house. Seeing as Useless Bill is a superhero that would’ve been to easy for him. Luckily for him, Semi-Kewl Steve thought it would’ve been a good idea to hide a spare key. The only problem is he couldn’t remember where he hid it. So to make a long story short, they smashed a window.

Episode 43:

        Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was going for a nice, quiet drive in his brand new automobile. The only problem is that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog doesn’t exactly know how to drive. So as I’m sure you’ve all guessed already, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog crashes. The sad part of this story is that he crashed into another car. This other car was being driven by Ang The Aardvark. Normally everyone would’ve been fine except Ang The Aardvark was not only drunk, she was also not wearing a seat belt and talking on her phone. So off they both went to hospital. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was fine because he was wearing a seat belt and driving a safer car. After the doctors had operated on Ang The Aardvark everything seemed fine. Then Ang The Aardvark looked in the mirror and had realised they had amputated her left earlobe and her nose. The doctors tried to explain to Ang The Amputee Aardvark why they needed to amputate but Ang The Amputee Aardvark just wouldn’t listen. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was starting to feel bad about causing a crash and forcing Ang The Amputee Aardvark to have parts of her body amputated. He thought long and hard about what he could do to make it up to her. This was the best idea Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had ever thought in his whole life. This was also one of the few times in his life that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had ever actually thought. So off he went to find some of the ugliest people he could find. That’s right, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was going to hire ugly people to hang out with Ang The Amputee Aardvark so she’d look hotter to everyone else.

Episode 44:

        Crooknug is a very unique town. I’m sure it’s the only one with a giant memorial shopping trolley. It’s also the only town which has its bank open on a Sunday. I know it might sound like some far off magical land where a bank is open on a Sunday but it happens in Crooknug every Sunday. The reason I’m telling you this is because Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was at the bank doing whatever it is you do at a bank. It seemed like every other Sunday in the bank when in walked Nesbit The Bank Robbing Badger. Being the good bank robber that Nesbit The Bank Robbing Badger is, he quickly got all the customers on the ground and was filling his bag with loads of money. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog wasn’t happy that Nesbit The Bank Robbing Badger was stealing all the money because he came in to withdraw a hundred bucks to buy himself a new fridge. So up jumped Froggy Frog Frog McFrog to demand that Nesbit The Bank Robbing Badger stop stealing all the money. Nesbit The Bank Robbing Badger was shocked that someone had finally stood up to him. He just wasn’t quite sure what to do. So he guessed. “If you don’t get back down on that there floor I’m gonna blow your brains out all over these other people,” shouted Nesbit The Bank Robbing Badger. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog simply explained that all he wanted was a hundred bucks to buy himself a new fridge. Nesbit The Bank Robbing Badger thought this was a fair request and decided to leave a hundred bucks just so Froggy Frog Frog McFrog could buy himself a new fridge. Nesbit The Bank Robbing Badger grabbed his bag and left. Business went on as usual. The only problem was that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was second in line and the customer in front of him withdrew a hundred bucks which meant Froggy Frog Frog McFrog wasn’t going to get that fridge he wanted.

Episode 45:

        As I’m sure you’re all wondering, has Froggy Frog Frog McFrog gotten any since that fateful night in episode 35? I’m sorry to inform all of you that the answer is no. It’s not as though he hadn’t been trying. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was starting to run out of ways to attract the opposite sex. He figured that because of all his excessive drinking and occasional drug use he looked about 50 years older than he really was. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog thought that he could try all these fancy new age creams and lotions that make you look younger, but Froggy Frog Frog McFrog is very impatient and wanted something that would happen overnight. Luckily he knew Wanda The Witchdoctor. Off Froggy Frog Frog McFrog went to visit Wanda The Witchdoctor. Wanda The Witchdoctor had exactly what Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was after, a potion that would make him look 50 years younger overnight. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog woke up the next morning hoping the potion had worked. Unfortunately instead of making him look 50 years younger, the potion made Froggy Frog Frog McFrog grow a tail. Not any ordinary tail though. This was a giraffe’s tail. He wasn’t sure what to do to cover up his new grown appendage. He thought maybe a little bit of makeup could cover it up. Instead he just put some pants on. Off he went back to Wanda The Witchdoctors shop to complain about the potion that didn’t work the way it was meant to. The only problem is that there was a sign on the door which said “Back in 5 minutes”. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog panicked because he didn’t want to wait a whole 5 minutes to get this fixed. He hopped home angrily to find a solution. It might seem like a drastic solution but Froggy Frog Frog McFrog figured that he could just chop it off. It worked though.

Episode 46:

        I’m sure all of you devoted fans out there are wondering how Froggy Frog Frog McFrog can go on all of these zany adventures without seeming to have a job or any responsibility. The truth is that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog does have a job. It’s not one of those glamorous jobs that most famous frogs might have. He makes ironing boards for a living. Not any old ordinary ironing boards though. He makes those ones that have wheels on them so you can move them around the house easier. Oh no, there was trouble at the ironing board factory. Froggy Frog Frog McFrogs co-worker Erving The Hungarian Hippo had made a huge mistake on his assembly line. Instead of attaching the legs on the bottom of the ironing boards he’d been attaching the legs on the top of the ironing board. The main reason behind this is because Erving The Hungarian Hippo doesn’t speak a word of English. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog came over to have a quiet talk with Erving The Hungarian Hippo in the hope that he could tell him what he was doing wrong before the boss noticed. The problem was that Erving The Hungarian Hippo mistook what Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was saying and he thought that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was cracking on to him. Seeing as Erving The Hungarian Hippo hadn’t gotten any action in years now and was really horny figured he’d go with what he thought Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was saying. As all of you devoted fans should know, I don’t deal with big issues like this. You know this because of episode 28. If you don’t remember episode 28 it was the episode about Kevin The Queer Koala. Depending on how you chose for that episode to end also impacts your decision on how this episode will end. Just remember one vital fact about this episode. If you decide for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog to beat the living shit out of Erving The Hungarian Hippo, remember that there are ironing boards around so Erving The Hungarian Hippo may never walk again. Could you really live knowing what you did to a poor hippo that just couldn’t speak English? I know I couldn’t, but then again I know how this episode is meant to end.

Episode 47:

        Froggy Frog Frog McFrog couldn’t believe his eyes. Where the giant memorial shopping trolley used to stand was a giant cannon. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog didn’t know if this was real or just a by product of the substance abuse he had put his body through the previous night. To double check his eyesight, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog, ran as fast as he could at the giant cannon to see if it was real. Just before Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was able to make contact with the giant cannon Renton The Amazing Flying Octopus stopped him. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog knew his name was Renton The Amazing Flying Octopus because it said so on his cape. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was still wondering why there was a giant cannon in the place of a giant memorial shopping trolley. Renton The Amazing Flying Octopus explained that it was a one day only thing that his cannon was there and that he was a travelling performer. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog figured he had nothing better to do than stand around and watch an octopus shoot himself out of a cannon. Seriously, even if he had something extremely important and life threatening to do, he wasn’t going anywhere because how often do you get to see an octopus get shot out of a cannon. Everything was going to plan for Renton The Amazing Flying Octopus; there was a huge crowd of people and the weather was perfect. There was one thing Renton The Amazing Flying Octopus didn’t take into consideration. Can you hear that? “Useless Bill, Useless Bill, Bill is a pile of useless crap.” Renton The Amazing Flying Octopus had just climbed into his cannon and lit the fuse when Useless Bill and Semi-Kewl Steve came stumbling out of the fishbowl museum. That would’ve been alright except that Useless Bill and Semi-Kewl Steve stumbled right into the giant cannon re-aiming it at the local hospital instead of at the ocean. BOOM! Renton The Amazing Flying Octopus was actually flying and looking rather amazing at the same time. Only half way through his flight did Renton The Amazing Flying Octopus realise that he wasn’t heading for the safety of the ocean, but instead for the hard, brick hospital. Luckily there was an open window and Renton The Amazing Flying Octopus went straight through the open window and landed on a spare bed. That was convenient for Renton The Amazing Flying Octopus as he was planning on visiting the hospital anyway. Too bad Useless Bill thought it was a brilliant idea to fly out of the cannon as well. Useless Bill was soon followed after by Semi-Kewl Steve. The problem for Renton The Amazing Flying Octopus was that both Useless Bill and Semi-Kewl Steve Both landed on top of him seriously injuring him and forcing him to never get shot out of a cannon ever again. So off Froggy Frog Frog McFrog went to continue his day.

Episode 48:

        The circus had come to town. This circus, however, wasn’t any ordinary circus. This circus was up a tree. Not any old tree though. It had to be a pineapple tree otherwise the performers wouldn’t feel comfortable enough to perform. You’re probably thinking that this is some kind of monkey circus or something because it’s up a tree. You’re wrong. This circus was unique because it consisted of three animals you’d never think would be up a tree. This circus was made up of Ralph The Wombat, Eli The Electric Eel and Hans The Smoked Salmon. As I’m sure you’ve all already guessed, Ralph The Wombat is a tutu wearing trapeze artist. Hans The Smoked Salmon was the gymnast of this circus. It might sound like these two do all the hard work at the circus and I’m sure you’re thinking that Eli The Electric Eel will do something pointless like pull open the curtain. You’d be mistaken if you thought that. Eli The Electric Eel had the very important job of being the hula hoop for Hans The Smoked Salmon’s gymnastic routine. It was opening night and the circus was full. Most importantly though is that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was sitting in the front row. The circus performers started their usual routine. It wasn’t until Ralph The Wombat came out in his little tutu that anything exciting happened. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog wasn’t sure what to think. For some reason he was disgusted because Ralph was a wombat, but Froggy Frog Frog McFrog has this thing for tutus. He was terribly confused though. Was he excited because it was such a skimpy tutu or disgusted because it was being worn by Ralph The Wombat? You wouldn’t know though because I’m pretty sure none of you out there have ever seen a wombat in a skimpy tutu. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog managed to contain himself until the end of the circus. While everyone else was leaving the circus Froggy Frog Frog McFrog went backstage to see Ralph The Wombat. When Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was alone with Ralph The Wombat he knocked Ralph The Wombat out and stole his tutu. Now Froggy Frog Frog McFrog can wear the tutu himself. This way nobody needs to know about his crazy, freaky tutu fetish.

Episode 49:

        As I’m sure you all remember, back in episode 26, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was rather mean to Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck. Most of you were probably wondering when Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck was going to seek some revenge. Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck thought long and hard about what he could do to get back at Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. The only problem is that Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck wasn’t all that intellectually gifted. Translated that means he was a moron. He decided to get help from Captain Crazy The Evil Bandicoot so he wouldn’t have to think of something all by himself. Captain Crazy The Evil Bandicoot was more than happy to help because he loved causing mischief. Their plan was to wait till Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was hopping down the street in a fancy suit and then they were going to spray him with mustard and barbeque sauce. They thought it was a fool proof plan. There was no way it could fail. Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck and Captain Crazy The Evil Bandicoot hid up in a tree which they knew Froggy Frog Frog McFrog would hop under while wearing a fancy suit. Everything was going as planned until they heard the one thing no evil bandicoot wants to hear. “Useless Bill, Useless Bill, Bill is a pile of useless crap.” That’s right, Useless Bill had come to foil their evil plan. It turns out that Useless Bill hadn’t actually come to foil their evil plan. He was actually heading off to the chemist to get some pain killers because he was slightly hung over. Luckily for him, Semi-Kewl Steve, had decided to tag along for the trip to the chemist. Seeing as Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck wasn’t all that intellectually gifted, he mistook Semi-Kewl Steve for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and started spraying mustard all over him. And that’s how Semi-Kewl Steve saved Froggy Frog Frog McFrogs fancy suit.

Episode 50:

        Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was just sitting around trying to think of something to do when he had one of the best ideas ever thought up. He was off to the moon. Some of you out there may be asking “How’s he going to get to the moon?”, or “Why would you want to go to the moon?”, or possibly even “Why would anyone ever want green eggs and ham?” Just to answer a few of your questions: he’s going to use a rocket to get to the moon and he’s going because he ran out of cheese and needs some more. I wish that I could answer your query about green eggs and ham but I just can’t. It’s just one of those questions that is designed to plague mankind for all of eternity. Sorry about that. I got a little distracted, I’ll get back to the story now. Blast off. Before he even had time to have a space food stick, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was preparing to land on the moon. Landing was the easy part of this trip for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog because he now had to find out whereabouts on the moon is that tasty cheese. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog only likes tasty cheese. Unfortunately for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog today was the bi-annual convention for cheerleading astronauts which just happened to be held right next to where he had landed. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog except that one of the cheerleaders was Daisy-Sue The Cheerleading Sea Turtle. Most of you are probably wondering what’s wrong with Daisy-Sue The Cheerleading Sea Turtle. I wish I could tell you but the list would just be too long. All you really need to know is that she has a freakish obsession with frogs. Not one of those obsessions where she just likes to keep them as pets or occasionally burn them, she just can’t help herself from rooting them. I know all you devoted fans are wondering why Froggy Frog Frog McFrog would not want a free root. Well, have any of you devoted fans ever had sex with a sea turtle. It may seem like a good idea at the time but you pay for it for the next six months of your life. If you don’t know what I mean, go and find out for yourself. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had just thought up an even better idea than going to the moon for cheese. I’d happily tell you but that would just spoil the surprise wouldn’t it. So Froggy Frog Frog McFrog headed back home knowing that he would never be bothered by Daisy-Sue The Cheerleading Sea Turtle again. Too bad he’d forgotten to get some cheese while he was out.

Episode 51:

        There is a certain time in every superheros life when their sidekick turns 18. That’s right, Semi-Kewl Steve is turning 18. I’m sure most of you would’ve thought of him as older because you never would’ve thought a superheros sidekick could be so young. Well he is semi-kewl, so that means he developed his super abilities at a younger age than normal. This wasn’t just going to be any ordinary eighteenth. Semi-Kewl Steve’s party was going to be super. Useless Bill had a huge surprise planned for Semi-Kewl Steve. I can’t tell you that surprise just yet because you might tell Semi-Kewl Steve and spoil the surprise. Disaster struck. The worst possible thing ever had happened. Useless Bill had killed the stripper. Of course it was an accident. Useless Bill failed to realise that the giant cake he had ordered for the stripper to come out of, came with the stripper already inside. Useless Bill made the mistake of trying to cook the cake with the stripper inside. Yeah that’s right, Useless Bill has one of the biggest ovens you could possibly imagine. Useless Bill had to quickly come up with a whole new surprise for Semi-Kewl Steve. He decided that he would get Semi-Kewl Steve one of the hottest dates you could possibly imagine. Everyone started showing up for the party. Semi-Kewl Steve was starting to wonder what his surprise was going to be. Then in walked Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak. She walked straight up to Semi-Kewl Steve and said “Surprise.” Semi-Kewl Steve couldn’t believe his eyes. Useless Bill had finally done something useful. It was bound to happen eventually. The only bad thing about this party was that Useless Bill’s arch-nemesis Useful Bert had heard about Semi-Kewl Steve’s eighteenth. Useful Bert had a fool-proof plan and considering Useless Bill was a little bit of a fool he was sure glad it was fool-proof. This so called “fool-proof” plan was to send his new sidekick Weebo The Leprechaun and kidnap Semi-Kewl Steve's date Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak. I know it might not sound like much thought has gone into this plan, but the less thought that goes into a plan the less that can go wrong with it. I’m sure you never would’ve guessed this, but Useful Bert’s plan actually worked. Mainly because Semi-Kewl Steve was passed out drunk on the couch. That and Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak had a thing for leprechauns. Useful Bert now planned to send a ransom note to Semi-Kewl Steve and demand fifty thousand dollars for the safe return of Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak. The only problem was that Semi-Kewl Steve had gotten so drunk at his eighteenth that he’d forgotten completely who Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak. Seeing as his plan had backfired, he figured there was no point in him keeping Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak hostage. So Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak was set free without anything nasty being done to her. I know you’d all seen it coming. This was the first movie length episode of Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. If you’re lucky there will be more to come.

Episode 52:

        Today is the day. Useful Bert has challenged Useless Bill to a challenge to determine who the best is. Luckily for Useless Bill they aren’t trying to determine who the most useful is. The challenge had been set. They were to have a race. Not any old, ordinary race though. This was a swimming race. Useless Bill and Useful Bert both had a week to prepare. If you’re imagining this episode in your head this is where you imagine a montage. That way it saves me writing as much. Useful Bert’s montage goes great and he becomes a really good swimmer. Useless Bill on the other hand has a training accident and can no longer race. Useless Bill was about to start panicking and was about to withdraw from the race when he had a brilliant idea. He was going to dress Semi-Kewl Steve up as himself and get him to race for him. Semi-Kewl Steve used the rest of Useless Bill’s montage so that he knew how to not drown. Off they all went to the local swimming pool. Unfortunately for them it wasn’t Olympic size. It was even bigger. The race was set to fourteen and a half laps. Useless Bill didn’t want to be completely useless during the race so he convinced the umpire person to let him umpire and time. Of course he wore a stupid disguise so that Useful Bert wouldn’t know it was him. The only problem with this is that Useless Bill is useless. He pulled the trigger on the little gun to start the race. In they all jumped. Useful Bert took an early lead over Semi-Kewl Steve and Useless Bill. That’s right. Useless Bill is so useless that he forgot he wasn’t meant to be swimming. His injury was still playing up and he just started to panic and drown. Useful Bert being the nice arch-nemesis that he is didn’t want to see Useless Bill die like this. He wanted to kill Useless Bill himself. That’s what a good arch-nemesis should always want. So Useful Bert swam over and saved Useless Bill. Only then did he realise that it was actually Semi-Kewl Steve who was drowning. Useless Bill had miraculously recovered from his injury and had already finished the race. Semi-Kewl Steve just couldn’t really be bothered trying in the race and pretended to drown for attention. It worked though. It meant Useless Bill won. So now we all know that Useless Bill is better than Useful Bert. I’m sure you already knew that. Everyone knows that someone with a theme song is better than someone without one.

Episode 53:

        There he was, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog, cruising down the street in his newly acquired car. Yeah, you heard me right. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog has a car. He inherited it from his now deceased long lost uncle. All of you out there may have an uncle you don’t know you have. You should look into it. If you’re lucky you may find one that will leave you a car. I’m not kidding. It happened to me. It could happen to you too. Now that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had a car he was sure he’d be able to get laid. Like I said earlier, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was cruising down the street in his newly acquired car. He was checking his rear view mirror to see who was behind him when he noticed a police car following him with his sirens going. The police officer was signalling for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog to pull over. Thinking that it was just a funny prank by one of his friends, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog, floored it. Next thing he knew, he was part of a high speed pursuit. It was even on the tv. If you turn to channel 43 right now you’ll be able to watch it live. Just kidding. But seriously, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was part of a high speed pursuit. The main problem with this is that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had forgotten to fill up his petrol tank before he left. Instead of trying to loose the police so he could pull over and fill her up, he decided to just keep the pursuit going. His plan was to try and just keep going down hill. Most of you normal people out there would’ve just given up to the police by now and that would’ve ended the chase. That’s because you’re not a frog. You don’t want to know what police do with frogs that they arrest. It’s just not pretty. It’s a little like having sex with a sea turtle but with out the relief of being laid. Luckily Froggy Frog Frog McFrog knew a truck driver who drove a petrol tanker. He called his friend up and asked if you could fill up a car’s petrol tank while it was still running. I know it’s illegal to drive and talk on the phone but it is in a high speed pursuit so just get over it. It turns out you can’t fill up a car’s petrol tank while it’s running. That’s why they have all of those signs at petrol stations.

Episode 54:

        Evil Professor Lipenstocking had done it. For those of you who don’t remember Evil Professor Lipenstocking go back and read episode 10. He has made it through rehab and is now known as Professor Lipenstocking. This was good news for Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak. This is because Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak has multiple personalities. Well only two. Luckily her other personality had the same name as she did. So nobody gets confused we’ll call her other personality Tara 2. Oh yeah I forgot to tell you that Professor Lipenstocking knows how to separate multiple personalities so that they can both live in their own bodies. Tara 2 was the nicer of the two personalities. She isn’t anywhere near as obsessed with fornicating without having the smell of burning bacon. She was more after having a great night out on the grog. Could you really imagine if these two personalities combined? You’d have a sex crazy alcoholic. Oh wait, that might not be all that bad. Now back to the story. Off Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak went to Professor Lipenstocking to be separated into two individual little piggies. The operation was a success. There was now Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak and Tara 2. You may be asking why I’m informing you about this miraculous operation. I’m telling you this because I have to. Someone (who shall remain nameless) is holding a gun to my head and making me inform you of this miraculous operation. Please excuse me for just one second. (Insert me wrestling with gunman). That’s better. Well now that I’ve informed you about this miraculous operation, there isn’t anywhere this episode can go. I’m sorry to have wasted your time. Don’t blame me. Blame the nameless gunman laying on the floor unconscious next to me.

Episode 55:

        It may have taken him 55 episodes, but Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had done it. He’d gotten himself arrested. Surprisingly it wasn’t for drunk and disorderly. It was for rape. That’s right, Tara 2 had pressed charges against him. Most of you are probably wondering “When did Froggy Frog Frog McFrog have sex with Tara 2?” As you all should remember Froggy Frog Frog McFrog did have sex with Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak. It was during this time that Tara 2 came out and took over Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak. During this time she continually shouted for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog to stop but he just thought that she was asking for more. Seeing as Froggy Frog Frog McFrog did technically have sexual intercourse with Tara 2 without her consent, he could actually be charged with rape. It didn’t matter that Tara 2 was just one of Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak’s multiple personalities. It was now the day of the trial. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog felt confident that he’d get let off. His main theory behind this was Tara 2 was accusing him of rape and he actually meant to have sex with Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak. That and they were now in separate bodies so it would’ve really confused the judge and jury. Yeah, there’s a jury. It has some familiar faces in it. The jury consisted of Monsieur Mushy Mushy (from episode 2), Ariba Maxi-Neba The Mexican Flying Squirrel (from episode 3) and Kewl McPimp The Hairy Chested Rhino (from episode 24). They only had enough seats for a jury of three. Throughout the trial Froggy Frog Frog McFrogs sick and twisted past was brought to the surface and everyone who was listening will never be the same. To cut a long story short, the case was dismissed. To celebrate Froggy Frog Frog McFrog took Tara 2 out for a “few” drinks. One thing led to another and there may be another court case soon if you know what I mean.

Episode 56:

        Today was the day, the big unveiling of Froggy Frog Frog McFrogs art exhibition. This art exhibition was to be held at the fishbowl museum. Every big event in Crooknug was held at the fishbowl museum because they don’t have a town hall or any other big building to put stuff in. I’m sure all of you devoted fans never knew Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was a brilliant artist. Well he isn’t, but he is the best artist in Crooknug. The major problem with having a huge art exhibition in a fishbowl museum is the security is rather shit and of course there was someone out there wanting to be an art thief because everything else is too hard to steal. Luckily, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had hired Useless Bill and Semi-Kewl Steve as security. He was more hiring Semi-Kewl Steve and just hoping Useless Bill didn’t fuck everything up like he usually does. Unfortunately for everyone Useful Bert planned to steal all of Froggy Frog Frog McFrogs artwork. This is yet another one of Useful Bert’s “fool-proof” plans. He was going to use his sidekick Weebo The Leprechaun again. Weebo The Leprechaun was to just go to the fishbowl museum and distract everyone. This was very easy for him because he’s a leprechaun and everyone loves watching a leprechaun do a stupid dance. I know I do. While Weebo The Leprechaun was doing his stupid dance Useful Bert was planning to just walk in the back door of the fishbowl museum and just take all of the artwork. Everything was going great until Useful Bert got to the back door of the fishbowl museum and found out the door was locked. He just kept on pulling but it wouldn’t open. He then read the sign which said push and it opened. Once he was inside he was so lost because it’s such a huge museum. It’s the biggest fishbowl museum in the world. Well I don’t know that for a fact, but it is really big. By the time Useful Bert had found all the artwork Weebo The Leprechaun had given up dancing and everyone was coming back inside. Useful Bert had to abort his plan and just leave to go get lunch instead.

Episode 57:

        It was about time and it finally happened. It rained in Crooknug. Of course this hasn’t happened in a while. For all of you readers from Sydney, rain’s when water falls from the sky. I know it’s been a while since we’ve seen any, but it does still exist. Chilli The Blonde Mexican Chicken thought it would be a great idea to go for a walk in the rain. It’s just what chickens like to do. This would’ve been alright on any other day except for today because this was no ordinary rain. There was thunder and lightning as well. As I’m sure you’ve all guessed by now, Chilli The Blonde Mexican Chicken was struck by lightning. Unfortunately for Chilli The Blonde Mexican Chicken the only help that was around was Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had seen everything that had just happened and rushed over to see if Chilli The Blonde Mexican Chicken was alright. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was about to call an ambulance when he realised that Chilli The Blonde Mexican Chicken was not only dead, but still smoking. This reminded Froggy Frog Frog McFrog of last Christmas when his mother made him fried chicken for breakfast. Seeing as nobody else was around he thought he’d see what Chilli The Blonde Mexican Chicken tasted like. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog couldn’t believe the taste. It was orgasmic. It was the best chicken you’d ever taste and because she was Mexican it had hidden herbs and spices. This gave Froggy Frog Frog McFrog a brilliant idea. He was going to smuggle Mexican chickens over the border and let them get struck by lightning and then sell them to the public. The only problem with this plan was the Froggy Frog Frog McFrog didn’t actually know where Mexico was. So instead, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog just grabbed the rest of Chilli The Blonde Mexican Chicken and took her home to finish her off.

Episode 58:

        It was that time of year again. It was the annual game of hide and seek in Crooknug. That’s right, they play a game of hide and seek every year. Not just any little ordinary, backyard game of hide and seek. This game involved the entire town. The only hard bit about this game was finding someone who was willing to seek while the rest of the town hid. This year was Froggy Frog Frog McFrogs turn to seek. He wasn’t very happy at all but he had to do it so next year he could hide. The best hider also won a prize. They won the right to pick the seeker for next year. As I’m sure you’ve all guessed now, that winner from last year was Toady Toad Toad McToad. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog closed his eyes and started to count to seventy two. He was doing great and at seeking out all the hiders. He’d found half the town before lunch time. The best thing was that everyone he found had to help him seek out the rest of the town. By the end of the day they’d managed to find everyone except for Useless Bill. They had no idea where he was. They’d look everywhere (even behind the fridge). While they were looking behind the fridge though they heard what sounded like someone snoring inside the fridge. At first they just dismissed it as them being drunk and hearing things. After not having found Useless Bill for hours now they were starting to worry. Then they realised that the snoring coming from the fridge must’ve been Useless Bill because they weren’t actually drunk when they heard it. Off they went back to the fridge. It was terrible. The fridge wasn’t where they’d left it. Oh wait, they left it somewhere else. Off they went to somewhere else. There it was, the fridge which they suspected had Useless Bill in it. They pried open the door. It was shocking what they found. They found some out of date milk and some leftover chicken. Then out of nowhere came Useless Bill. It turns out he was asleep next to the fridge under a cardboard box. Useless Bill was the champion hider this year and now got to choose the seeker for next years game of hide and seek.

Episode 59:

        I know some of you readers may not believe this is actually possible, but this really did happen. Useless Bill had bought a scratchie and won big. Not like just a little bit big. He won huge big. The most you could win. The only problem is that Useless Bill didn’t actually realise this. Luckily he kept all of his used scratchies in a pile in his lounge room. Most of you loyal readers are wondering where this episode is going. How can anything exciting happen now that the scratchie is lost in a pile of other scratchies? I’ll show you. All of you must’ve forgotten that Semi-Kewl Steve regularly checks Useless Bill’s scratchie pile because he understands that Useless Bill is a little useless. Semi-Kewl Steve managed to find the winning scratchie. Unfortunately for him Useful Bert had secretly installed some surveillance stuff. I’d go in to more detail but it’s really technical and confusing and I don’t want to confuse you or me for that matter. Useful Bert was now planning a very complicated and devious way to steal the scratchie from Semi-Kewl Steve. His plan was to sit up in a tree with a fishing rod and wait for Semi-Kewl Steve to walk underneath. He was then gonna go fishing for the scratchie. I know this sounds like a very complex plan and a lot more effort than should be required, but that’s how evil genius people work. His plan was going great. Everything was going just as planned. So far he’d climbed the tree. He then realised he’d left his fishing rod at home. He had to resort to plan B. Plan B was to just jump on Semi-Kewl Steve and steal the scratchie. Oh no plan B had forgotten to take one thing in to account. That’s right, Semi-Kewl Steve was walking down the other side of the street. Luckily for Useful Bert though Useless Bill came running down the street and ran straight into Semi-Kewl Steve making him drop the winning scratchie. It floated all the way across the street to where Useful Bert was waiting. Without thinking he just jumped down and grabbed the scratchie. He was instantly run over by a truck. He failed to realise he’d jumped onto the middle of the road. The force of the truck permanently embedded the scratchie inside of Useful Bert. The moral of this story is always scratch your scratchies when you buy them. Don’t take them home to scratch.

Episode 60:

        Today was the day. Everyone was going camping. Not because they really liked it. It just gave them a great reason to get blind drunk and not have the neighbours call the police and then wake up in a jail cell next to a man called Betsy. Trust me, it’s not fun. Not that I know or anything that is. Now back to the story. Off they all went camping. By everyone I mean Froggy Frog Frog McFrog, Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak, Useless Bill, Semi-Kewl Steve, Tara 2, Ariba Maxi-Neba The Mexican Flying Squirrel and Iggins The Rugged Toucan. They’d all become friends just the day before and thought they’d all go camping together to celebrate their newly found friendship. It was a great camping trip. It only took them 2 hours to get all the tents set up which was a new personal best for Useless Bill. This was mainly because Semi-Kewl Steve was a professional tent erector before he became a full-time sidekick. They all started to get stuck into the drinking when out of nowhere Useful Bert and Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck appeared. That’s right, Useful Bert had yet another new sidekick. Useful Bert had planned to kidnap Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and hold him for ransom so that Useful Bert wouldn’t have to actually go out and get a real job. Being an evil genius doesn’t always pay that well. Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck assisted Useful Bert perfectly. He got extremely drunk and stumbled up to Froggy Frog Frog McFrogs campsite and just fell through a tent. While everyone was distracted Useful Bert stuffed Froggy Frog Frog McFrog into one of those big potato sacks. You know the ones. The ones you have sack races in. I hated sack races. I never won. There was only one person who could beat Useful Bert and save Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Useless Bill was going to have to prove that he wasn’t completely useless. Unfortunately since he beat Useful Bert in episode 52 he’d been celebrating a little too much and had started to put on a bit of weight. This was a problem because he could no longer fit into his super suit. How could he save the day if he wasn’t wearing his super suit? Nobody would know who he was. He does have a secret identity after all. Semi-Kewl Steve had a plan. He would put Useless Bill on a very strict diet and transform him into Not Quite So Very Much Useless Bill. That’s right, Useless Bill was going to become a little more useful. Will Useless Bill’s diet work? Will he save Froggy Frog Frog McFrog? You’ll have to wait till the next episode to find out.

Episode 61:

        This was it. This was the big weigh in. Would Useless Bill be able to fit into his super suit? It turns out he’d lost too much weight. He was now too skinny to fit in his super suit. Semi-Kewl Steve had a new and even better idea than his last. He figured he’d just go out and buy Useless Bill a new super suit. That way Useless Bill wouldn’t have to go through a gruelling training regime of non-stop eating to put on weight. Useless Bill was very annoyed because he was looking forward to sitting around doing nothing and eating everything. Semi-Kewl Steve was so lucky to be able to find a super suit that fit Useless Bill. Not many super suit stores stock super suits in such a small size because most superheros have muscles to help fill out larger super suits. Something even luckier happened for Semi-Kewl Steve on his way back from the super suit store. He saw Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck walking down the street. Semi-Kewl Steve decided to do all the work in this particular case and thought he’d follow Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck to see where Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was hidden. Semi-Kewl Steve could not believe how lucky he was today. Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck was drunk so he didn’t notice Semi-Kewl Steve following him all the way back to Useful Bert’s secret hideout. It wasn’t much of a secret hideout. It was Useful Bert’s house, but it was painted a different colour in the hope to disguise it from Useless Bill. Normally this plan would’ve worked but Semi-Kewl Steve was just having such a lucky day. Semi-Kewl Steve thinking his luck couldn’t stop him thought he’d just go charging in and free Froggy Frog Frog McFrog all by himself. First though he’d call Useless Bill to tell him what was going on just in case something bad happened. Unfortunately Useless Bill had started his gruelling training regime of non-stop eating and the phone was on the other side of the room. Instead of answering the phone Useless Bill just turned up the television. Will Semi-Kewl Steve save Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and once again foil one of Useful Bert’s plans? Will Froggy Frog Frog McFrog end up saving Semi-Kewl Steve? Will Useless Bill actually do something useful? I doubt it. Once again you’ll have to wait for the next episode to find out. Yeah that’s right, this is a massive episode. Even I can’t believe how big it is.

Episode 62:

        Semi-Kewl Steve was just standing there thinking of the kewlest way to just charge into Useful Bert’s secret hideout. All of a sudden, as if out of nowhere, appeared Super-Smart Mel The Owl. I’m sure you all remember the big secret from the last episode Super-Smart Mel The Owl was in (Episode 40 for all you people who’ve forgotten). In charged Semi-Kewl Steve. He’d figured just charging in the front door was the easiest and most effective. To his surprise he could not see Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck or Useful Bert. It was almost as if they’d disappeared into thin air. Semi-Kewl Steve decided to explore the house for clue. As soon as he’d walked into the kitchen he was smacked in the face by a frypan. All Semi-Kewl Steve could make out was a duck looking animal hobbling out the other door of the kitchen. Ignoring the pain he was in, he started to chase. Luckily for him Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck couldn’t run very fast with his wooden leg. For all of you loyal fans who didn’t know he had a wooden leg you should go and buy the book. It has a picture of him in it (a full page picture). It’s my favourite. Now back to the story. Using his great run of luck Semi-Kewl Steve managed to get Stumpy Clifton The Pirate Duck to tell him exactly where Useful Bert and Froggy Frog Frog McFrog were. They were conveniently just upstairs. Instead of using stairs to get upstairs, Semi-Kewl Steve decided to smash a whole in the ceiling and climb up through that. If you were a sidekick pretending to be a hero you’d do the same. It’s just the kewl thing to do. Semi-Kewl Steve could not believe how lucky he was today. He’d made his hole directly under where Useful Bert was. This resulted in Semi-Kewl Steve rescuing Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and just generally saving the day. They all decided to celebrate. The unfortunate part of this celebration was Useless Bill ate a little too much and drank way too much resulting in him becoming too fat overnight. It does happen. When things say that “It won’t happen overnight but it will happen”, they’re just lying to you. Never believe them.

Episode 63:

        Crooknug had finally finished the year long search for a new sheriff. It was a gruelling process which made fun of all the contestants. The lucky winner however was Sheriff Speedy Llyod The Snail. Sheriff Speedy Llyod The Snail pulled on his new uniform and started patrolling the streets of Crooknug. Unfortunately the pants were rather tight and Sheriff Speedy Llyod The Snail was lacking downstairs if you know what I mean. If you don’t, I mean he has a small penis. He was hoping nobody would notice. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog came hopping around the corner and just pissed himself laughing. He couldn’t believe that the new sheriff had such a small penis. How could you fight crime with a small penis? Froggy Frog Frog McFrog just couldn’t figure this out. Sick of being made fun of and also sick of cleaning up after people piss themselves, Sheriff Speedy Llyod The Snail went to the local hospital for a penis enlargement. It was all set up. Sheriff Speedy Llyod The Snail was to go back the next day and then his penis was going to be larger. Before you ask, he had tried just stuffing socks down his pants. He didn’t think they looked real enough for his liking. The surgery went just as they’d planned. Or atleast that’s what Sheriff Speedy Llyod The Snail thought until he actually checked to see how it went. Not only had they botched the surgery and made him a woman, they’d also given him breast implants. He truly looked like a woman now. More than he did before with such a small penis. It turns out that they wouldn’t be able to correct the surgery straight away as they have to wait atleast a week for the swelling to go down. So Sheriff Speedy Llyod The Snail had to patrol the streets of Crooknug as a woman. This time when Froggy Frog Frog McFrog hopped around the corner he not only pissed himself with laughter, he also shit himself out of surprise. He could barely believe what had happened to the new sheriff in town. For the next week Sheriff Speedy Llyod The Snail not only had to deal with cleaning up the piss people leave on the street from laughter, but he also had to pick up their crap. It was that time again. Back to hospital for Sheriff Speedy Llyod The Snail. This time the operation was more of a success. They removed the breast implants and re-attached his penis. The problem with this operation was that his penis was still the same size that it originally was and he now had an extremely large left ear. The doctors denied everything. They wouldn’t admit to anything. Sheriff Speedy Llyod The Snail decided that he was sick of it all. So he quit being the sheriff and just went and lived in a hole.

Episode 64:

        This was the day. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was getting married. Most of you devoted fans are probably wondering, “Who is Froggy Frog Frog McFrog getting married to?” I think a better question would be, “When did Froggy Frog Frog McFrog get engaged?” Both of these questions can be answered by taking a trip down memory lane. This particular trip down memory lane will take you back to Semi-Kewl Steve’s eighteenth birthday party in episode 51. While Weebo The Leprechaun was kidnapping Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was proposing in the background. If only you’d all looked closer you would’ve seen it. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was proposing to Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was standing there waiting for Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan to walk down the aisle so they could be joined in holy matrimony. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was starting to panic. Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan was taking a little longer than she should’ve to start walking down the aisle. All of a sudden it struck him. Maybe she’d left him at the altar. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog’s heart was breaking. The love of his life had left him at the altar. It couldn’t get any worse. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog didn’t know what to do. Then all of a sudden Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan appeared at the end of the aisle and started to walk towards Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. It turns out that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog’s watch was a little fast. Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan was actually on time. Everything was going great. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog said. “I do.” Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan, on the other hand, didn’t. She just told Froggy Frog Frog McFrog that she had met someone else and was only going along with the wedding this far so she had a good reason to wear her fancy wedding dress. It turns out the other man was Renton The Amazing Flying Octopus. The main reason for this is because an octopus can do so much more with eight tentacles compared to what a frog can do. There was only one thing Froggy Frog Frog McFrog could do. He was going to kill Renton The Amazing Octopus so he could have Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan all to himself. Seeing as Renton The Amazing Octopus was at the church for the wedding Froggy Frog Frog McFrog figured this was a good a time as any. So he grabbed a plank of wood that was conveniently right next to him and went and started bashing Renton The Amazing Octopus. Surprisingly nobody was stopping him. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog then realised that this must be some kind of dream because he couldn’t remember ever meeting Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan before today and he didn’t even know half of the people there at the church.

Episode 65:

        Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had done it. He had finally managed to get so drunk that he actually managed to wake up in a completely different town. Some of you are probably thinking that that isn’t very hard to manage but I’m sure all you people also have jobs that pay you well. You all must have forgotten that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog works in an ironing board factory which as you all should know doesn’t pay very well. Luckily Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had woken up next to Jess The Jealous Jaguar. This was only lucky because Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had actually gotten drunk with Jess The Jealous Jaguar the night before. Normally Jess The Jealous Jaguar wouldn’t drink that much but every time Froggy Frog Frog McFrog had a drink she would get jealous and get one for herself. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog on the other hand usually drinks too much. This time he had a good reason though. This time he was drinking because he was heartbroken after being left at the altar by Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan. It turns out Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and Jess The Jealous Jaguar had woken up on someone’s couch. The problem was that they didn’t know whose couch it was. They weren’t even sure if they’d fooled around during the night and both of them didn’t want to ask in case the other one remembered and thought it was magical and was now in love. You all know what I’m talking about. You’ve all been there before. They both heard footsteps coming from down the hallway towards them. Well Jess The Jealous Jaguar couldn’t actually hear them but she was jealous that Froggy Frog Frog McFrog could hear them so she pretended that she could. The doorknob started to turn. Who could it be? It was just Useless Bill. Somehow he’d wound up in this crazy house. After searching the house they’d managed to come across Rodelodelee The Yodelling Mountain Goat, Ariba Maxi-Neba The Mexican Flying Squirrel, Renton The Amazing Octopus and Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak. As soon as Froggy Frog Frog McFrog saw Renton The Amazing Octopus he punched him right in the face. This was because of how Renton The Amazing Octopus stole Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan from him. Unfortunately for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog, Renton The Amazing Octopus had a very rare disease that meant that if he was ever punched in the face by a frog he would die instantly. I know it might sound a little unbelievable but I did say it was very rare.

Episode 66:

        Everything was going from bad to worse for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Not only had he just ‘accidentally’ killed Renton The Amazing Octopus, but he’d also just been arrested. That’s right, all your suspicions were correct. Ariba Maxi-Neba The Mexican Flying Squirrel was an undercover police woman. Froggy Frog Frog McFrog was dragged into court and charged with Renton The Amazing Octopus’s murder. Luckily for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog, Jess The Jealous Jaguar was starting to get jealous. “Why wasn’t I charged with murder?” she was thinking. Jess decided that she’d had enough of Froggy Frog Frog McFrog getting all the attention and that she was going to confess to the murder. Now that they had a confession there was no reason to keep Froggy Frog Frog McFrog so they let him go. Knowing something fishy was going on Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan decided she was going to get to the bottom of this. She decided to get Froggy Frog Frog McFrog drunk to get the truth out of him. It was the obvious choice (and a good excuse to get Froggy Frog Frog McFrog drunk). As we all know, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog can handle his alcohol quite well. After all he does drink nearly every night. As a matter of fact he’s drunk nearly twenty four seven. Unfortunately for Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan after a couple of drinks she’d forgotten why she was there and started to remember why she was going to marry Froggy Frog Frog McFrog in the first place. So instead of getting the truth out of him she ended up having hot, passionate sex with him. I wouldn’t want to bore you with all the details about a frog and a swan having sex. Just use your imagination. Trust me, it’ll be easier that way for everyone. The worst thing about this night was the fact that there was no protection. That’s right, Froggy Frog Frog McFrog is not only going to actually marry Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan this time but he is also going to be a father. This time it’s for sure. But don’t stress anyone. There will still be crazy, wacky adventures. Just now Froggy Frog Frog McFrog won’t have to do any cooking or cleaning (not that he did anyway).

Episode 67:

        Beryl The Bat was sick of it, sick of all the whinging. I’m sure some of you are wondering who Beryl The Bat is. I thought it was obvious, she’s Fillipe The Drag Racing Salamander’s wife. Fillipe The Drag Racing Salamander was still whinging about losing to Froggy Frog Frog McFrog. Beryl The Bat was so sick of it that she was planning revenge on Froggy Frog Frog McFrog just to make Fillipe The Drag Racing Salamander shut up. She was going to get him where it really hurt. She was going to get rid of Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan. That way Froggy Frog Frog McFrog wouldn’t get as much sex and he’d have to cook his own dinner. Luckily for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog, Beryl The Bat was as blind as a bat (not a shock really). This was lucky for Froggy Frog Frog McFrog because Beryl The Bat got Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and Toady Toad Toad McToad mixed up. Seriously though, can you tell the difference between a frog and a toad? This is the sad part of the episode. You should all start getting ready to cry (unless you don’t like Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak).Beryl The Bat followed Toady Toad Toad McToad (thinking he was Froggy Frog Frog McFrog) home and was rummaging through Toady Toad Toad McToad’s kitchen drawers for a suitable knife. Beryl The Bat could hear a faint moaning coming from the bedroom. All she could make out was what sounded like “Oh Sarah”. Little did she know, what she actually heard was “Oh Tara”. That’s right, Toady Toad Toad McToad was getting some from Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak. I know it’s a little unbelievable, but trust me, it’s the truth. In charged Beryl The Bat brandishing (that means holding) the butter knife she found in the kitchen (it was a very sharp butter knife though). It all happened so quick that Beryl The Bat can’t even remember all the details. All she can remember was cutting off the head of who she thought was Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan. There was so much blood spraying everywhere that Beryl The Bat thought Tara The Cute Piggie Sex Freak’s head was Sexy Seductress Sarah The Swan’s head. Remember that she is kinda blind. She raced home and told Fillipe The Drag Racing Salamander what she had just done. Fillipe The Drag Racing Salamander was ecstatic (that means happy). He was so happy he thought he’d go for a drive. Unfortunately for him Froggy Frog Frog McFrog and Sexy Seductress Sarah The Sawn were going for a romantic walk on the side of the road. Fillipe The Drag Racing Salamander was so enraged (that means angry) with Beryl The Bat that he went home and blew up his house with Beryl The Bat and himself inside. I’d like to now apologise for my use of so many big words. Atleast I was nice enough to explain their meaning unlike most authors.